There was a time in my life wherein random strangers would appear with the message "Don't give up."
And, yes, literally.
One time, sitting in the courtyard in front of the local mall with my mandolin, I was chatting with a fellow interested in the instrument. He knew guitar, if I recall correctly, so I explained the mandolin's tuning, showed him a few chord shapes, and handed him the instrument. He strummed it and sang an impromptu song with a chorus highlighting "Don't give up."
In my last post I mentioned encountering "messengers" and hearing those odd messages hidden inside me that I probably needed to hear. Here was a message coming again and again, but I had no idea what it was for. "Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up what?" The situation never devolved into an undying desire to find what it was I wasn't supposed to give up. It just lingered ~ who knows why? The notion occurred that maybe it was a message for someone else, but for whom? The best I could do was to pass it on, letting people know what I had heard.
"Don't give up" faded away.
Today, I am tired ~ a bit worn. Days and nights are both long, and I'm awake, studying new things, building on what I know, wondering how that direction might play out. And there's little to show from all that increasing effort but thinning faith.
Tired but not asleep, listening to the rain...
The Pabbatopama Sutta: "I inform you, great king, I announce to you, great king: aging and death are rolling in on you. When aging and death are rolling in on you, great king, what should be done?"
Don't give up? I don't know.
In my first post for an old zen center's new website, I announced back then "Don't suffer alone," so the taunting or the silence of all voices keeps one company.
Don't give up.